Most people believe that they are either a great public
speaker or terrible one. What side of the line do you stand on? I won some
awards and a substantial amount of scholarship money from public speaking. I thought
I was a great public speaker. Today, I can tell you that I was not a
well-trained public speaker. I won those awards based more on self-confidence
then on the words that I spoke.
Where did this confidence come from?
Growing up, I talked more than the average person. It gave
me a sense of confidence in my ability to communicate. It was not until I
started studying human communication, kinetics, and neuro-linguistic
programming that I realized that I had a long way to go to be as great of a
public speaker as I thought I was.
Think about how much time you spend walking every day. At
least an hour. Yet that does not mean that you have hamstrings shaped like
horseshoes and ripped calves. Just because you walk all the time does not mean
that your legs are in mint condition. Ripped legs requires hours spent in the
gym with a focus on breaking down the muscles in your legs and building them
back up until they are defined and perfectly sculpted.
The same goes for communication. Just because you spend
roughly 45 minutes per day saying words does not mean that they are as skilled
and trained as Martin Luther King or Demosthenes. That kind of communicative
skill takes hours of practice with professionals who know how to break your
current speaking habits down and building them back up with proper repetition.
This brings me to my second point:
Studies by kinetic founder Professor Ray Birdwhistell found
that your average sentence only takes 2.5 seconds to verbalize. The next time
some one smirks something witty you can point out the fact that it took them
longer to think of the comment then it did to say it.
As the saying goes, “Be careful of your words, once they are
said they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.” In less than 2.5 seconds you can
say something that brings joy or pain to those you love.
Dr. Albert Mehrabian developed the 7 – 38 – 55 rule back in
the 70’s. The Mehrabian rule states that 7% of communication is verbal, words
only. 38% of communication is made up of vocal tone, inflections and other
sounds. Mehrabian concluded that 55% of communication is non-verbal. Do you
know what your non-verbals are tell people?
Want to be a better communicator? Learn about saying the
right thing at the right time. Understand that what you say only takes a few
seconds while its meaning carries on for a life time and that you communicate 8
times more with your body than with the words that you use. Consider getting a
communication coach. Just like any other skill that you want to develop, a
teacher, coach, trainer, guru, etcetera will help you be the best that you can
be.
* There is an active debate on how many words per day the
average person speaks. Recent articles state that women speak 3 times more
words than men and use about 20,000 words per day. While men, on the other
hand, speak about 7,000 words per day. If you try to find a source on where
those numbers come from you will not find it. The average of 7500 words per day
is the closest to a verified study that I could find. If you find a more up-to-date
study let me know!
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