Funny Short Story About Looking Old...

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. – E. E. Cummings

Have you ever been guilty of looking at someone your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?" You'll love this one. 

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed his full name. 

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? 

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. 

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School. 

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he beamed with pride. 

"When did you graduate?" I asked. 

He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?" 

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed. 

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald wrinkled, fat, gray, decrepit son-of-a-gun asked, "What did you teach?"


*Short story originally posted here.