A Moment of Silent Awareness...

In an ever increasing world of commotion, where you only sleep when your body forces your eyes to close and your iPad falls on your chest, taking time to stop and think is nearly non-existent. If you are like most people you stand on one side or the other when it comes to Prayer, Meditation and Mindfulness. You can clump prayer, meditation and mindfulness under Silent Awareness and after all, they are all based in religion, right? According to science Silent Awareness does not have to be based in religion for you to enjoy their discovered benefits. 

What are the benefits of silent awareness? The New York Times reported this list of benefits:

• An Inner Calm
• Homeostasis
• Aid in the healing process



A more recent study (August 2013) by the Association for Psychological Science published in the Sage Journal found that meditation increased:

• Gray matter density
• Positive affect
• Improvement in various health outcomes
• Compassion towards others

The grey matter includes regions of the brain involved in muscle control, and sensory perception such as seeing and hearing, memory, emotions, speech, decision making, and self-control. Something we can all use more of is increased gray matter, not to mention the healing and health benefits.

While your life may be spinning out of control from work, family, and community involvement you can always benefit from silent awareness. The very act will make the world a better place. 

A study published in the Sage Journal showed that the very act of mindfulness increased feelings of compassion. “Participants practicing mindfulness meditation where as likely to aid the sufferer as were those practicing compassion meditation.” They found that both those that practice mindfulness and compassionate meditation where 5 times more likely to aid others in pain than those that did not practice any method of silent awareness.


Before you finish this paragraph take a second to stop and think. If you pray say a prayer, if you meditate take a minute to meditate, if you practice mindfulness do so, if you do not do any of those things then concentrate on increasing your awareness of life and the things that you are grateful for right now! 


A daily practice of silent awareness will improve your life and it will make a difference in the life of others.




What benefits have you experience from silent awareness?

3 Short Success Quotes

"Success is a journey not a destination." – Ben Sweetland

"If at first you don’t succeed, try try again." – W. C. Fields

"I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone." – Bill Crosby

Words that bring me to tears...

Think about the climax of a movie when a child finally meets his parents. The caretaker says to the child, “I would like you to meet your Mom and Dad!” Remember the chills you felt? The phrase may have even moved you to tears. Words move people. It is not just words that move you, the context surrounding those words play a vital role in the meaning behind the words.

One of the most powerful phrases in any language is “I love you.” This phrase means so many things and nothing at the same time. You can use the phrase with sarcasm; much like its use in the movie Tangled when Rapunzel’s Mother, Gothel, would say “You know mother loves you” or “I love you most.” Understanding the context of Tangled, the phrase that would normally fill you with wonder, excitement and warmth comes across as hollow, fake and cold.

Here is a throw back to your high school years when some one did something not so intelligent, “Way to go Einstein” or “You are a genius.”  Einstein and Genius denote an extreme high IQ but in this context they are actually insults. Even those phrases and context move some people to laugh, some to feel power, and others to feel pain and insult.

How do you use both phrases and context to move people?

Secret to amazing communication

Think about a person that you feel is an amazing communicator. What makes that person an amazing communicator? You might answer that it is their ability to clearly state things, or they just understand you, or they have a large vocabulary, or they are able to talk to anyone, or they are a great salesman that could sale ice to Eskimos.

While those are great attributes they are not the most important attribute of amazing communication. I bet if you where to compare all of the greatest communicators that you have come across during your life you would find a common thread; Listening! They are all great listeners! That is one of the biggest secrets to communication. Any one can talk your ear off, but you will not feel like they actually communicate with you. They can talk but not communicate.

In the book, Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone*, Mark Goulston explains that the main key to listening is making another person feel “felt.” He laid out 6 steps to making anyone feel felt and thereby enhance your ability to truly communicate with people. Those steps are:

1) Attach an emotion to what you think the other person is feeling, such as “frustrated,” “angry,” or “afraid.”
2) Say, “I’m trying to get a sense of what you are feeling and I think it is ___________...” and fill in an emotion. “Is that correct? If it is not, then what are you feeling?” Wait for the person to agree or to correct you.
3) Then say, “How frustrated (angry, upset, etc.) are you?” Give the person time to respond. Be prepared, at least initially, for a torrent of emotions – especially if the person you’re talking with is holding years of pent up frustrations, anger, or fear inside. This is not the time to fight back, or air your own grievances.
4) Next say, “And the reason you’re so frustrated (angry, upset, etc.) is because…?” Again, let the person vent.
5) Then say, “Tell me – what needs to happen for that feeling to feel better?”
6) Next say, “What part can I play in making that happen? What part can you play in making that happen?”

The key is to make sure that you ask these questions with a sincere interest in listening. If you do not care to listen then do not ask the question. At any point of the questioning, if you feel that there is more that the other person is leaving out, do not fall for the rookie mistake of interjecting your feelings, ask, “you mentioned (X), tell me more about (X)” and then listen.

As you use this format to reach people on a deeper level, you will find that they will be more appreciative of you for listening and for asking questions rather than carelessly offering your solution to their problems. 

Do not be surprised if the other person asks you some of the same questions. Regardless the conversation will be mutually benefiting. This form of communication will help you feel more fulfilled in all of your relationships. It will help you over come some of the hardships that your relationships face and you will have a deeper connection with those with whom you communicate.

*Click here to check out the book: Just Listen.